There are two separate kitchens of Bombay friends and Delhi friends. Bombay friends’ cook is preparing Gujrati food and Delhi friends are cooking Punjabi food, which is very different. They both want Osho to eat their food. So finally it is decided that Osho will eat lunch with Delhi friends and dinner with Bombay friends. I feel angry at the stupidity of the friends who are behaving so unconsciously with Osho. These two types of food can make anyone sick.
After morning discourse, at 11:30 am, Osho has to walk in the sun nearly five minutes to go to the cottage where lunch is arranged for Him. Walking behind Him I always feel I am walking behind Buddha. I tell this to Kranti and we discuss about the theosophical society’s experiment on J. Krishnamurti. We both agree on one point, that Buddha’s soul has chosen Osho’s body as a vehicle.
Osho’s compassion and acceptance is infinite. He accepts every situation so easily that hardly anyone ever thinks about His comfort. After lunch, while coming to the cottage, I talk to Him about this. He simply laughs and tells me not to be serious about such things.
Monday, May 31, 2010
Osho decides to speak in the living room of His cottage every morning and evening. As there is only one bathroom I get up early to take my shower and then get the bathroom ready for Him. In the living room I have a mattress on the floor which I sleep on during the night, and in the morning I fold it up and cover it with a white sheet and keep some pillows to make a comfortable seat for Osho to sit on while speaking. During discourse, I sit near Him with my little cassette recorder. Friends are allowed to ask questions during discourse. It is more like an intimate dialogue than a discourse. Every day He is taking us deeper into the mystery of existence. I am listening to Him and at the same time watching the recording indicator needles moving, giving me the signal of the volume. When one side of the tape is about to finish I slowly press the stop button and I observe Osho stops speaking till the recorder is on again.
I appreciate His concern about every little thing. In the morning He asks me if I slept well in the night. I don’t find any words to express my gratitude to Him for allowing me to sleep on the same mattress on which He sits twice a day for nearly two hours at a time.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
The series of discourses on Mahavira is arranged in Kashmir for eighteen days.
Osho will be coming from Jabalpur to Delhi by train and will fly from Delhi to Srinagar. From Bombay, we are nearly thirty friends who will be meeting Him there. One other group of about twenty friends from Delhi will join us in Srinagar.
In Srinagar, on the little hill near Dal Lake, cottages known as “Chashme-Shahe” are booked to accommodate the whole group. Somehow the Bombay group has reached there early and we have this opportunity of choosing our cottage. It is a very beautiful place. I go around looking for the cottage which has the best view. Each cottage has two bedrooms, one bathroom and quite a big living room.
I choose the last cottage in the row. It has an open verandah on the back side. The view is the best. One side is over-looking the lake and on the other side are vast fields with a range of mountains behind them. I think this open verandah will be the best place for Osho to sit and enjoy the scenery without any disturbance. I check the bathroom, flush the toilet, running hot water. Finding everything in order, my girlfriend, Sheelu, and I occupy one of the rooms of this cottage with the idea that when Osho arrives we will vacate this room for Him. The other room is occupied by a Bombay couple.
The Delhi friends have also arrived. Everyone looks happy and excited. This is a rare opportunity of being with Osho for a continuous eighteen days. Two cars have gone to the airport to receive Osho. We have a cook with us from Bombay, who is busy setting the kitchen up in one of the huts.
At 2:00pm, Osho arrives with Kranti in the car of a friend from Delhi. He looks quite tired, but still meets everyone individually without any hurry. The Delhi friends invite Osho to the cottage which they have reserved for Him. I silently walk behind Him. I feel Osho has some magnetic energy which always pulls me towards Him. Whenever I enter in His energy field I become more relaxed and silent. He enters the cottage and looking around asks me to check the bathroom. I go in the bathroom and finding there is no hot water, I feel very happy. I come back and suggest to Him to have a look at the cottage I have reserved for Him and to take a shower. The Delhi friends get annoyed with me but my whole concern is Osho’s comfort. I ignore them. Osho agrees and I take Him to the cottage chosen by me. It is quite hot, and we have to walk for about five minutes in the sun. He covers His head with a little napkin. I am walking by His side, feeling proud of my act. He tells me, “Seeing the two cars at the airport I knew this trouble is going to happen between Bombay and Delhi friends.” We reach the cottage. He looks around, sees the back verandah and smiles at me. We come back to the room where He sits on the bed and says, “I will stay here.” I am overjoyed to hear it. Someone is sent to bring His suitcase. In the meantime, I pull my suitcase out from underneath the bed and carry it to the living room. He asks me, “Where will you be living?” I answer, “Osho, I don’t know. I will move to some other cottage.”
He smiles and says, “There is no need to move. You can stay in the living room.” I can’t believe it, to have this unexpected gift of love from Osho. My heart starts dancing with joy and tears overflowing with gratitude. I touch His feet and placing His hand on my head, He says, “Very good.”
Monday, May 24, 2010
Osho is conducting a meditation camp at Matheran hill station. Near about five hundred people are participating in the camp. He is staying at Rugby Hotel which has a big open ground in the middle where the camp is arranged.
One dog comes regularly and sits silently near the podium while Osho is speaking. I watch him. He comes a little early and has reserved his seat near the podium on the floor. He sits at the same place every day like a great meditator and looks very attentive with his ears raised while Osho is speaking.
When Osho comes and namastes everyone, he raises his neck and looks at Osho and Osho greets him with a great smile. It is the fourth morning today and Osho is standing at arrived at the station to see Him off. I am surprised to see this dog standing near Osho. Osho looks at the dog with such love that he starts wagging his tail.
After a few minutes, this mini train running between Matheran and Neral station is about to leave. Osho namastes everyone and enters the train. The train starts slowly, everyone has left except the dog who is walking with the train. The train picks up speed and the dog starts running with the train. Osho is watching him running and with the gesture of his hand blesses him and tells him to stop running.
The dog stops and looks up at Osho. I can’t resist waving my hand towards him saying good-bye. Osho remarks, “He is a very evolved soul.”
Thursday, May 20, 2010
I look outside the window, the train is passing through Khandala. It is a very beautiful scene with vast green fields surrounded by a range of mountains, and clouds are floating in the valleys. It all looks magical. My mind is diverted by a man who is standing near me calling me by my name. Seeing me puzzled, he introduces himself as having met me at Sohan’s home and says that he is specially traveling by this train only to have a little talk with Osho.
I ask him to come again after a while, I look at Osho and He is sitting in the same posture with His eyes closed like a marble statue. It is quite noisy in the train, but Osho seems to be totally cut off from the outside world. And here I am, sitting next to Him, and starting to feel uneasy without any apparent reason. I watch my disturbed mind and try to relax. Just to occupy myself, I start reading the newspaper.
The train stops at Karjat station and some hawkers enter. It is very noisy but Osho is still sitting motionless with His eyes closed. This man comes again and seeing Osho with closed eyes, goes back.
After he has left, Osho opens His eyes, looks at His watch. I ask Him if He would like to drink a soda. He simply nods in affirmation. I get a soda for Him, which He drinks a little and returns the bottle to me. I tell Him about this man and He says, “Yes, I know he’s traveling on this train. When he comes again, allow him to sit in your seat for ten minutes to talk to me.” Then He asks me, “What about you? Are you enjoying the journey?” I tell Him how uneasy I was feeling and had started reading the newspaper.
Osho says, “You should meditate at least one hour daily, sitting silently and watching your thoughts.” I ask Him, “I feel frustrated without any apparent cause.” He replies, “Expectation leads to frustration. Don’t expect but accept. Accept yourself also as you are. Just relax in your being, that is all meditation is.” Seeing me serious, He laughs and adds, “Now don’t be serious about the meditation. Just learn to accept and enjoy everything and report back to me when I come next time.”
I hold His hand in mine and kiss it in gratitude and thankfulness. We create mountains out of mole hills and He has the art of dissolving the whole mountain; not
even a mole hill is left.
I ask Him if He would like to drink more soda and He says, “You can finish it.”
He closes His eyes again and I start enjoying drinking soda from His bottle.
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Osho occupies the window seat and I sit next to Him. He tells me that He needs to rest and I have to make sure no one disturbs Him. I nod my head in assurance and He closes His eyes.
After about half an hour our breakfast of tea and toast has arrived. I keep the tray on the little shelf which is attached to the back of the seat in front. I am confused wondering if I should disturb Him or not. I just look at Him and to my surprise He opens His eyes and smiles. I can’t believe this, He looked like He was sleeping deeply. Without saying anything, He fixes the shelf in front of Him and I place the tray on it. He eats the toast and tea with such a joy as if He is eating the most delicious breakfast. When I sip the tea it is like cold water. I tell Him, “The tea is very cold, You should not be drinking it. I will call for fresh hot tea.” He says, “Don’t be bothered, it is okay.” To my surprise, at the very moment the waiter comes rushing to us with a fresh hot tea pot and says, “Have this fresh tea and return the previous one.” Osho gives the waiter a big smile and thanks him. As I am pouring the fresh tea for Him, Osho says, “Just a little patience is needed.”
After finishing His tea, He looks at His watch and closes His eyes again.
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Don't listen to the mind because mind means past; dead it is, already dead and gone.
It is non-existential. It is only the footprints of the events that are no more. Mind knows nothing of the present, it cannot know of the present. It has not any capacity to commune with the present because the present is always unknown. You cannot reduce-it to the past. And the fear of the mind is that the moment you encounter the present you have to be spontaneous, and the mind becomes useless. The mind has to be put aside.
That is the moment where meditation starts happening. To remain confined into the known is to be in the mind; to allow the unknown to enter into your being is the beginning of meditation, beginning of Zen. The present can be approached only through the no-mind. If you have any conclusions you are still carrying the past; conclusions come from the past prejudices come from the past. You have to put aside everything that you have known. You have to look into the present in a state of not knowing. The mind will tremble -- let it tremble. Let it die out of trembling. Don't listen to it.
The mind will create many doubts. That's why, Evi Huber, you say: There are doubts.... It is natural the mind will create many doubts. The mind will say "You are perfectly happy, you are perfectly comfortable. Why are you risking? For what? You may lose even that which you have; you may not gain anything. Don't risk!" Mind teaches you to be calculating, to be cautious.
And sannyas is for the gamblers; it is not for the businesslike, it is not for the calculators, it is not for the computers. It is for men, real men, authentic men who are always ready to listen to the challenge of the unknown, who are ready to go into the uncharted sea. There is no guarantee of the other shore; there cannot be any guarantee in sannyas.
Religion cannot provide any guarantee. And the moment any religion starts providing guarantees it is no more religion; it becomes part of certain vested interests. It becomes part of establishment; it loses all rebellion. Jesus cannot give you any guarantee; the Christian church can give you all kinds of guarantees. Buddha could not have given you any guarantee; the Buddhist church provides you all kinds of guarantees, here and hereafter, even in the other world.
The people who follow are always looking for guarantees, consciously, unconsciously; they are waiting for certain indications that truth should be ensured. "Then we can go into any adventure" -- but it is no more adventure if it is guaranteed.
Bliss cannot be guaranteed, truth cannot be guaranteed, ecstasy cannot be guaranteed. Yes, it can be said it happens. The man who has tasted it can say, "I have tasted it, and there is a possibility that you may also taste it. If I have tasted it, why not you?" But there is no guarantee: you may, you may not.
And the mind lives on these doubts. The mind says, "Who knows? This man may be deceiving. Maybe he is not deceiving, but he himself may be deceived. He may be hallucinating about ecstasy, samadhi -- dreaming, believing. Maybe he has auto-hypnotized himself or maybe he is just a fraud deceiving others, exploiting their gullibility." The mind will create all these questions, thousand of questions. In mind questions arise like leaves grow on trees; the mind goes on growing many and many questions every moment. No answer is of any help; out of every answer the mind will create many more questions.
Two first class tickets are reserved on the "Deccan Queen" morning train leaving from Poona for Bombay. I am very excited and looking forward to sitting next to Osho for three and a half hours in the train. Sohan wants to prepare and pack some breakfast for us to eat in the train but Osho tells her not to bother about it.
We reach the platform by 7:00am. About twenty friends have come to see Him off. As usual, Sohan's eyes are full of tears which are continuously flowing like a leaking tap of water. Osho looks at her and smiles. In response, she also smiles and starts crying. I can feel her heart burning with the pain of separation. Osho tells her husband, "Bafnaji, come with Sohan to the next camp at Nargol. Sohan comes near Osho and touches His feet. He places His right hand on her head. She is still sobbing. Osho taps her head with His hand and calls her softly, "Sohan." Sohan looks up and Osho helps her to get up by holding her hand and asks her, "Will you be able to come to the Nargol camp?" She is unable to speak and just nods her head. Osho says, "That is good." He namastes everyone while standing on the steps of the train, as the train vanishes from the sight of His beloveds
Monday, May 17, 2010
Osho is staying in Sohan’s home at Poona. In the afternoon, someone says, “It is the full moon tonight.” I know Osho likes to go boating during the full moon and I ask Him about it. He agrees and tells Bafnaji, Sohan’s husband, who is a member of the boat club, to reserve one big boat. He also invites some friends as Osho always likes to share with friends whatever is available.
After dinner, we all go to the boat club, where one big boat is waiting for us. In all we are about twenty friends with Osho in the boat. It is a magical night. One full moon is in the sky and another full moon is sitting amidst us in human form laughing and talking. My heart is dancing with joy. I feel blessed for having such rare opportunities without doing anything on my part.
Osho tells Sohan to sing a song, but she is feeling shy to sing in the presence of so many people. Osho talks about how music can deepen the silence. Listening to Him is like listening to soft music. For a while everyone is silent. I can hear the faraway sound of crickets in the trees.
The water in the river looks like melted silver, flowing slowly downwards. I look at Osho, He is sitting in all His majesty with His eyes closed. There is a kind of miraculous presence in the boat which reminds me of Noah’s ark.
We go around in the boat for an hour and then come back home by 10:30pm.
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Osho is resting after dinner in an air conditioned room at Sohan’s home in Poona. I am sitting near His feet and feel a strong urge to massage His feet. I ask Him about this and He okays it. As I start massaging the bottom of His right foot, He remarks, “Every disciple starts with the feet and finally comes to the throat.” Listening to this, I immediately stop touching His feet. He laughs and says, “I did not say it to you.” I react unconsciously and tell Him, “No one else is here.” He says, “The truth is, I don’t like being massaged on my feet. When I am resting, it disturbs me.” I understand Him and ask for forgiveness. He laughs and tells me, “When will you learn not to be serious?” Saying this, He closes His eyes and I walk out of the room, brooding seriously over what He has said.
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Love. I would like to share with you that I have created a new website for spreading Osho message.
Its currently under development. It also has a blog similar to this one. I took this step because I dont want to rely on other websites like Facebook and other free blog sites. Because they can anytime shut you down.
It has happened to me, I was having a nice fan page of OshoSpeak on FaceBook where I posted the same messages that I post here. But someone couldn't bear that and complained and the fan page was shutdown without any notice.
So now, even if someday someone complains about this blog and if this blog is also shutdown then I would still have my website to carry on my work i.e. spreading Osho' message.
Thanks for all your support and following. ~ love
I am staying with Osho in Sohan’s home. Osho enjoys to eat lunch with us at the dining table. Sohan is really a great cook. After His morning discourse we reach home around 10:15am. Within one hour, Sohan prepares the lunch, cooking a variety of delicious dishes. By 11:30, we are all setting on chairs around a big rectangular dining table which is decorated with flowers in the middle. Every meal is a great feast. Osho likes to tell jokes while eating and creates much laughter around Him.
Today there are so many dishes, one is puzzled from where to start. Sohan is standing near Osho and starts serving Him food from different bowls. Osho is never miserly in appreciating the food He likes. Today, He enjoys eating Dahi-wada. It is an Indian dish made of little balls of crushed dal, fried and soaked in curd. He says to Sohan, “Sohan, Dahi-wadas are really delicious.” Sohan responds, “That means the other dishes are not delicious.” Osho looks at Sohan in surprise and says, “No, no! I don’t mean that. I will tell you a story so you understand what I mean.”
Then He tells this story:
Mulla Nasruddin was in love with two beautiful women. He was telling both of them separately that you are the most beautiful woman I have ever met. One day both the women meet and realize that he is saying the same thing to both of them. They go together to Mulla and asked him, “Now tell us the truth, who is more beautiful?” Mulla thought for a moment and said “You are both more beautiful than each other.”
We all cracked up in laughter and Osho says, “Sohan, all your dishes are more delicious than one another.” Sohan, now getting the point, also starts laughing.
Monday, May 10, 2010
While traveling in India, Osho likes to stay at Sohan’s home when He is in Poona. I never want to miss this opportunity of being with Him at Sohan’s home. Sohan is madly in love with Osho and His people. Her home becomes like a place of pilgrimage while Osho is staying there. Hundreds of people visit it every day and she welcomes everyone with such love and tenderness that many people can’t control their overflowing tears of joy. In the afternoon it is like a great feast. Every visitor is offered sweets, snacks and tea. Osho also comes out of His room and sits on the sofa in the living room surrounded by lots of friends. His presence and invisible fragrance is very tangible in the atmosphere.
There is always lots of laughter around Him. He enjoys teasing children. Any question tossed to Him, the smallest grain of a question, and the answer comes like a sprouted lush foliage from His silence. His voice is so musical and soothing, I really don’t care about listening to His words. His words work like a bridge connecting me with His inner vast emptiness. Sometimes I feel Him like a flute played by some invisible hands. His depth and his height are beyond our reach. He is flying like an eagle, alone in the vast sky and we are creeping on the earth like little worms, looking at Him and crying for help. He is amazing; without saying a word He listens to the hearts who are longing for Him and allows them to quench their thirst from His eternal waters of life.
Thank you beloved master. For me you are a perfectly opened lotus. I can’t do anything but rejoice, dance and sing a song in your presence.
The meditation camp at Mount Abu ended with the full moon night. In the afternoon, I talk to friends about going boating in the night. We come up with the idea to tell Osho about it. When we ask Him, He says, “We should reserve all the boats and after the night meditation everyone can go boating.”
People attending the meditation camp are just thrilled with the message about boating. All the boats are reserved and after the night meditation everyone rushes to the lake like little kids going for a picnic. When Osho arrives at the lake there are already about five hundred people waiting there in the garden. It looks very chaotic but surprisingly in a couple of minutes people fall in line on both sides making a path for Him. Osho never gives any discipline to His people but His mere presence creates the harmony. His people love and respect Him out of their understanding.
He walks towards the lake with folded hands, namasteing everyone. A few friends join Him in the same boat and the rest of us take other boats. It feels like a great celebration on the lake. All the boats are filled with sannyasins dancing and singing. I look at the full moon and imagine that moon god must be desiring to come down and join in our celebration.
Wednesday, May 05, 2010
We have returned to Ahmedabad after a meditation camp at Mount Abu, where Osho introduced dynamic meditation in the morning.
He is curious to know the people’s opinions about dynamic meditation. When I tell Him that some friends were saying that you are loosening the screws of their brain, He laughs and says, “No, I am not interested in loosening the screws, they will tighten them again. I am trying to get the screws out of their brain because they are not needed there.” Then He speaks about twenty minutes explaining that the whole process of dynamic meditation is to dehypnotize the conditioned mind of man. He further says: Dynamic meditation is a jet speed method. One hour daily for three months is enough to cleanse the whole rubbish.
Tuesday, May 04, 2010
The friends who have arranged His meetings at different places in Baroda are really funny people. Today in the evening, Osho is going to speak somewhere, but they are not willing to tell us the name of the place. They want to take Osho alone in a car. I am very much annoyed. At any cost I don’t want to miss His discourse. I meet Osho in the afternoon and ask Him what to do? He says, “It is so simple. Just engage a rickshaw and tell the driver to follow my car.”
I tell Him, Osho, these people look so angry at us, they will ask why we are following them.” Osho laughs and says, “You can tell them that we are going our way, you are going ahead of us. What can we do?”
I like the idea and it really worked. As His car stops, our rickshaw stops behind it. Immediately, I get down and start walking with Osho, not giving opportunity to these friends to say anything. It is a meeting arranged with members of the lions club in a small hall. I sit next to Osho and arrange my recorder, ignoring the organizer who is sitting next to me.
After the discourse, this man comes near me and thanks me for recording the discourse. He invites me to join Him in the car with Osho. I feel relieved and start walking behind Osho like a little kid who has won the lottery.
Monday, May 03, 2010
Today, Osho is speaking to college students at Baroda University. Thousands of students have gathered to listen Him. The hall is over-full with all the doors opened. Lots of people are standing all around the walls and outside to listen to Him.
I walk behind Him to the podium with my little cassette recorder. As we reach the podium, my ears are deafened with noises of clapping and whistling. There is much excitement in the atmosphere. He is going to speak on youth and sex. He greets everyone with folded hands, sits down in the lotus posture and closes His eyes. I try to tighten my little microphone wire with the rod of the mike placed before Him. Students start throwing paper arrows towards me. I feel very awkward. Somehow, I ignore it and make myself comfortable sitting near Him with my recorder in front of me.
I start gazing at Him. In a couple of minutes, He opens His eyes and straight away looks at a door. Friends from Bombay, not finding any seat in the hall are standing there. He passes a message for them to be allowed to come and sit behind Him on the podium. I am simply surprised to see His concern about such little things. He looks at me and smiles, I press the recording button and hear His sweet voice addressing the audience: “Mere Priya Atman” which means "My Beloved Self." There is pin drop silence, only His voice is echoing in the hall, quenching the thirst of those who are ready to receive Him in their hearts.
Today, after lunch, I tell Him that He should close the door to His room from the inside while resting because I also wanted to rest. He says, “People will come and knock on the door.” I tell Him that I am closing the main entrance door of the apartment and will turn off the call bell also. I assure Him He won’t be disturbed. Seeing me determined about it, He says, “Okay, okay, do whatever you like.” I take care of everything and go to my room and have a good afternoon nap. Thank God, no one has disturbed Him during His rest time.
While drinking His afternoon tea, He tells me a story, which I can never forget, because it is my story.
The story is :
There was a master living in a hut in the forest with his only disciple. They both were very lazy. One night they were lying on their beds and the master asked the disciple, “Can you go and find out if it is raining.”
The disciple without moving an inch from his bed replied, “It is not raining because I just touched a cat who came in from the outside and it was not wet.”
The master said, “Okay, close the door and let us sleep.” Again the disciple without moving an inch replied, “Master, what is the need of closing the door? We have no fear of thieves and it feels good having the door open with the cool breeze coming in.”
The master agreed to it and said, “Okay, turn the light off.”
The disciple answered, “Master, two jobs I have done, this one you should do.”
The way Osho narrates a story is so unique, one can visualize the whole scene as if it is happening now before you. And at the same time, it has some subtle meaning for you, if you can get it.
Hearing this story, I feel ashamed of what I had done in my unawareness, but Osho never allows anyone to feel guilty about anything.
Sunday, May 02, 2010
This time, I have come along with Osho to Ahmedabad, where He is delivering a series of discourses on Geeta.
After the morning discourse, He has lunch at 11:30am and then rests for a couple of hours. I sit at the door on the stool to guard. It is a hot summer afternoon and I feel very sleepy and start dozing sitting on the stool. Just to keep myself awake I try to read a book. somehow, I manage to sit there and make sure that He is not disturbed in anyway.
At 2:00pm He comes out of the room and goes to the bathroom. I arrange tea for Him. Soon people will be arriving to meet Him personally. As I am pouring tea in the cup, He asks me, “Will you work as my secretary?” It is beyond my imagination and without giving a thought to it, I simply answer, “Osho, I need a secretary myself.” He says, “Your laziness is nothing compared to mine.” And He starts telling lots of stories about His laziness. I feel He is creating fiction stories. When I tell Him this, He says, “No, no, they are all facts.”
One story which I love is about keeping His bed near the door when He was a student and staying in a hostel. He would open the door and straight away jump on the bed. All His books were around and underneath the bed. He had nothing to do with the rest of the room.
I enjoy listening to His stories of laziness, which makes me feel free of my guilt of being lazy.